baby love.................

Baby love…………………………….
Have I told you about Emerson , my baby nephew. His smile could melt the coldest of heart, he is amazing. I was there the day he came into this world, April 15, 2008. It was so special, and I continually feel blessed to have shared that amazing day.
Most people would think, yeah that is special, blah, blah, my sister in-law was at my birth Etc. Etc. Little do people know, all 3 of my kiddos are adopted, and so is Emerson. Their birthmothers all went through the same Christian agency. I was able to help as labor support for Emerson’s birthmother, and meet his birth grandparents, and watch him be placed in his Mom and Dad’s hands for the first time.
The picture above is his Mom and I giving him a bath this summer on vacation. What a blessing it is to see Gods hand in all our lives.
God is good, Life is Hard, I am Blessed,
Xo,
Carrie

alter ego.........

Alter ego-

Have you every wanted to be someone else, not just look like them, but be them, more than likely this person is “made up.” The person you desire to be is more perfect then anyone you really know. I desire to be a great wife, with a lot of admiration and kudos from her husband. The kind of woman who anticipated the needs of her spouse, and the spouse likes that. Those of you reading this and know my husband are laughing, he is a good man, but not complimentary, or desiring to have his needs met at every whim.
I desire to be the Mom whose kids are soooooooooooooo happy she is there, yet they are independent, and clear headed, morally upstanding individuals, who can say, “ I learned this from my Mom” !!! I desire to be the friend that is thoughtful, fun, and entertaining. Someday I desire my life’s work to be that of someone who made a difference and gave back to society. I pray for these things, today and everyday, God grant me wisdom, grace, and the power to do good. In the meantime, I will use these alter egos, sketches of who I want to be or might be someday. One is done by my friend PJ Cardona from pjgreetings.com, the other is a collage I made from 50’s TIME magazines.
God is good, life is hard, I am blessed,
Xo,
Carrie

Must love dogs................

Dogs……………………
Our dogs bring us a great deal of pleasure. People always say, “Carrie, 3 kids, and 2 dogs, you are crazy busy.”
To this I smile!! I am a little nutty, animals, dogs in particular, provide unconditional love. They expect the very minimum, a walk would be nice, but let them out in the yard will do, a bowl of dry dog food, and simple H2O. People think about the training, Vet bills, attention needed, grooming etc. This is all true, but it falls into place, like brushing ones teeth. If you love dogs, it isn’t much to provide for them, and they are ALWAYS there to give you love.

Life is hard, God is good, I am blessed
Xo,
Carrie

Gearing up................

Too fast, time just flies………………… It really seems corny to say, but it is SOOOOOOOOO true!!! I quite literally sometimes feel like my kiddos have spun from babies to big kids in the blink of an eye. This summer is definitely one of those time, you are probably thinking, of coarse, you just had major surgery. Well, yes this is all true, but still it is heading towards the end of August, and schedules, and riding my kids to do homework, and sports, and church youth group. Etc. Everyone comes to a place where routine, and schedule are necessary, it is gearing to be that time, I do however begin to mourn the lazy days of late June, July, and early August. This is just as I mourn the baby, and early preschool days of my children.
The future is bright, my kids are healthy, my husband is a good man, my surgery wounds are healing, we will embrace the days ahead .
Life is hard, God is good, I am blessed.
Carrie

The Academy Award goes to...................

Drama Queen…………………..
Have you ever looked at your kids and just wanted to burst our laughing? Well ,today was one of those days. The middle and little had physicals at the doctor. I knew the little guy would need “shots”, but was unclear if the middle would need anything other than a regular check up. They were saying the usual funny things to one another, and then annoying one another, then back to fun etc. The little guy fell last week and had a trip to the emergency room, he got 3 staples in the back of his head. I assumed he would be nervous to have them taken out, but no the little brave man announced that they did indeed need to come out, and he was very tough!! My middle one said, “Well, I am not tough, and will NOT be getting shots today, I am not BIG and Meaty like you, I am petite, skinny, beautiful, and sensitive , so there”!! I just busted out laughing, all is true, however, one does not usually announce that to another person. Needless to say, little guy only cried 1 minute for his 3 shots. The middle is now up for an academy award for horror film screaming in a doctors office, while receiving 1 shot.

God is good, life is hard, I AM BLESSED,
Xo,
Carrie

Happy Birthday Gabe.........................

Remembering………………
Next week will be 6 years since Gabriel’s birth-death. Not a day goes by that I don’t pause and think of him. The deep “kick in the gut” pain is MUCH less than in years passed. It is however a BIG scar, and I wear it across my heart. There were days years ago that I just wanted the pain to “go away”, it has now become part of me. I am who I am because of the time I spent with him, and how I have handled his passing.
I don’t want this to be a “downer” post, I am a survivor, and I am blessed in SO MANY WAYS. It is however important to reflect, and to walk through grief, there is no easy way to feel better, time passing, and my faith have carried me 6 years.
Happy Early Birthday Gabe,
Love you,
Mama

God is good, Life is hard, I am blessed!!

Life can be trying...................

What to say……………………. I find that through this long process of surgery-recovery, I am REALLY tired. I want to be my old busy self, running errands, seeing friends, tucking kiddos into bed. These are all currently overwhelming tasks. My oldest kiddo has a temper, she is better with animals than people. We have been dealing with an undiagnosed, sensory-OCD issue for sometime. This leads her to great frustration, and then a fit or big tantrum. She is now 11, and has many good qualities, I do however see the need for some outside help. My husband and I go round and round, he feels if I were able to match her willfulness, and hold steady she would “back down.” This is easier said than done. I am not, willful, I could use a little more of that in my 35 year old self!! I am praying each day that God show me wisdom of how I may be more effective with my oldest, and helpful to me other family members. Does raising an 11 year old girl really have to be so HARD?

God is good, LIFE IS HARD, I am blessed,
Xo,
Carrie